Thanks for the feedback all. A: my brother and I are very close. He respects my boundaries and knows not to bring anyone to the room. He knows my history. He mentioned he would go out to dinner with Mom and Dad and he said he told my mother not to even invite me out of respect. He really "gets it". He also knows my priority for going is to see Gram. his priority is to see Gram and Mom. We have separate agendas and will both be working together to respect those. We both know we have very diffeent relationships with my Mother. I REALLY appreciate all the fedback. Thank you.