You all are wonderful - thanks for the support. It is becoming more and more urgent that I step away completely and let him make whatever decisions he feels inclined to. I cannot continue to desperately stop him from making decisions - his resentment will grow and I will continue to feel disappointment.
I will definitely read up about being co-dependent. OhBoy - the way you described it was perfect "his problem needs your problem to thrive". Exactly it. You always think you're helping them, when in reality it never took us anywhere but down.
I do need to take care of me - no one else is going to do it! I'm still adjusting to the idea that I can't do anything for him anymore. It would be sad to watch this disease get the best of him, but I know that if that is where his decisions lead him, I can't be there and be brought down with him.
Keep posting everyone - it really helps =)