That "impending feeling of doom". I know it too well. It makes the time in between so hard to enjoy. I found that the pattern of monthly full moons was a major trigger for exABF. It still is. It was during the last full moon that he sent the texts that I used to get the restraining order. So wierd, but true. Even during the rare times when he was trying not to drink and saying that he wasn't, his behaviors during these days were unbearable.
((hugs)) to you. It's exhausting, but you aren't alone. Please take care of yourself.