I'm so sorry you're suffering like this. I know this feeling of abandonment. I've also been left to deal with looking after the family, the house, the dogs, the bills. My A is on a quest to find himself. lol. I have no idea how I'm going to pay the electric bill, let alone the mortgage. I've basically been panicking for 2 weeks. I've also dragged myself to Al-anon. The first time I just wanted to cry and didn't want to be there, but the second time I felt a great sense of peace. It was kind of miraculous and lasted a few hours. I'll definitely keep going. I know this isn't much help right now, and that the "right now" can be so terrible to get through, but try to breathe. I tell myself: just breathe, just sit here, you don't have to do anything else right now.
Sending you hugs. You're not alone.