I must be missing something. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU invite him to be a part of your birthday? After all that has gone on between the two of you, what gives him the VAGUEST idea that this is even in the realm of possibilities???
WTBH has speculated that her STBXAH is also possibly a clinical narcissist/sociopath. These guys are dangerous, not only because they lack respect for the social contract, but because they also focus heavily on revenge and retribution. The alcoholism makes it *that* much more chaotic and unpredictable.