Liza,
My ABF tends to the animals better than to the humans in the house as well. My A just last night in a drunken stupor told me how bad I am to my dog because I don't realize she doesn't want to pee in our own yard???? Before we had a yard, I was a SOB for not wanting to take her to go pee and so we got a yard. Now that we have a yard, I still don't give a crap about the dog in his eyes. LOL! It is just crazy. It's okay to buy beer over feeding your child and sit back and get drunk every single day while your woman takes care of the household entirely alone including the child, but I am also a SOB for not paying enough attention to the dog not wanting to pee in her own backyard.
Crazy making I tell you. Your post about the dog just really hit a nerve I guess because my A always seems so concerned about the animals and my relationship with them (????) and he doesn't give a crap about the human relationships in his life. Rather freaking bizarre if you ask me. Nothing about living with an A is normal.
Your posts really resonate with me because I think we are at very similar crossroads in our relationships. Good luck to you!