Why is it that it is days later and I still feel the same? I made my therapy appt., went to Alanon meeting, took care of house, kids, but still at night I am so damn pathetic. I read, journal, excercise but all the while thinking about what my separated AH is doing, who he is with, why he fell off the wagon, and especially why me and my kids were not enough for him. I hate facing that this is the reality of my life. I hurt so much and even though I stop crying, the inside I still feel sadness. I keep going to work, going through the motions, thinking eventually it won't hurt as much and it still feels as much as it did the first night he fell off and realized he was with her again...I don't believe he will ever know or comprehend the damage he has caused. How can someone cause all this damage like a tornado with no regard to me or our children? I feel even worse that this is the man I chose? A man who would abandon me, our children...He was good to me. He once was. Need to grieve.