Originally Posted by
Dalek 
There is a section titled "Beasts in Love" on pages 164-169 of the Rational Recovery book that is worth reading. Sobriety pacts are not a good idea. If one person doesn't keep to the agreement, they may try and drag the other person down with them, or the other person may feel "cheated" and decide that the whole deal is off. Your Beast would absolutely love to delay making a Big Plan until your boyfriend gets on board, or to have an escape clause built in to your Big Plan by making it dependent on his Big Plan. Make your Big Plan entirely by yourself.
sorry, I didn't make myself clear. My thoughts get scrambled.
I made my personal big plan before the beginning of 2012. No drugs or alcohol ever for myself. (Yes this is the 3 time I have made this plan in about 20 years, but I know this is forever) No going back.
I guess I used the wrong word in reference to him.
But I am working on giving him the the zero-tolerance ultimatum - I have not felt the power to do it in the past.
My journey with AVRT just started in the past week or 2 so the terms are not natural to me.
I guess my line of thinking was I made a Big Plan regarding my drinking and drugging and I was going to make a Big Plan as well about living with someone who is actively using.
Thank you for help Dalek
Carrie