Mine cycles through over the top behaviors and abusive language mostly. Then goes through a period of pretending it never happened. Several years ago if I brought it up the next morning she would apologize or at least be horrified at her behaviors. Now, since I am enabling and she has had no consequences, she feels free to escalate. Tonight was an over the top pity party about how I don't do anything and she does all the laundry and etc. It is pointless to point out what I do to help.
Now I am getting her telling me to tell all my friends on SR, they will believe you!
I am afraid that I have put up with artificially caused misery for too long. Being older and retired I was afraid to start a fair and equitable split and she thinks she has me over a barrel with that and refuses to leave after saying she can't stand it any more. I live on a very small retirement. But with the house and property paid for as well as all else it is enough. I really hoped she would at least try to get sober, but all she does is resent my sobriety and throw it in my face claiming I throw it in hers. Which I don't at all. I have asked her once or twice to rein herself in because it was the alcohol speaking.
So it is time for the one who claims to be the enabler of my behaviors to have some consequences and getting exactly what she claims she wants. No more me. She thinks we can just live together and she can abuse me and make things miserable. Tonight she said that I had crossed a line, and gone too far and she would no longer stand for it. I asked why she doesn't leave then. (She has family and her parents here even though they are on in years they have their own place too.) What confounds me is her continuing escalation and tonight it hit me. She is getting worse because of her alcoholism progressing. So I have made a decision. I am filing on Monday and beginning to make whatever arrangements my lawyer tells me to. Everything will be sold and the proceeds divided evenly. I can't deprive her of my pension because it is retired military.
I am young enough to go back to work. And she will run through her money pretty fast. The one that crossed the line irrevocably wasn't me. Until tonight I actually thought we might get things right again. Her health is starting to go too with coughing all the time from smoking and her drinking. She disappears at 2 PM every day and goes to see her parents or shopping and comes back at 7 PM and feeds her dogs, then starts drinking and usually by 8:30 it is in full swing. NO more. Thanks for the thread. Reinforced what I decided tonight.
I appreciate hearing a guy because all of her complaints sound very much like all the complaints of AH/BFs. I guess things are the same regardless.
I am at peace because her biggest gripe is that I won't go back to work to get her a bigger house. I am pretty easy and can do without all the trappings. And now that I am going top do it I realize I want no more of relationships for a good long while. Sex is not an issue as much as before, as I don't go there anymore anyway. I am one of the guys many consider good looking. Well I am also off the market, likely for good. Never happen 20 years ago.
I will have a peaceful dinner every night and no angry destructive people in my life. Kids are grown and the pups are the only casualties as she insisted we get them over my protests and I am the one that trained them and walks them and spends time with them each day.
Anyway, I am back, thanks for being here.