Thank you TippingPoint & FreshStart,
The reading I have done thus far has been very helpful in getting some open holes that I had plugged up. Although I felt confident in my actions - there were still doubts. Those doubts came from other people talking directly to my Beast. I heard too many times that since I was able to go it without AA I must not of had a problem to begin with. That got my Beast in celebrating mode - telling me since we didn't have a problem, we could go out and drink.
I am still struggling with my boyfriend's drug problems. Possible the struggle is my Beast trying to keep boyfriend around cause it will give me the opportunity to use again. It worked once.
But I am continuing and getting to the point of making my Big Plan with him.
Carrie