I didn't care for myself very much when I quit - that came later.
But I knew I didn't want to die - and I knew I could do more with my life.
I overthought things for many years Ken - yes recovery is scary, but I reckon so is the thought of living the hell we go through as drinkers...and knowing it's guaranteed to get worse.
You know what the rational, 'good' choice is....put your money on that choice.
Go through the actions of getting and staying sober - even if you're not entirely convinced yet...I guarantee your heart and mind will follow
Have faith, man
D