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Old 06-05-2012, 12:50 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
EnglishGarden
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
Yes, it hurts so much when we are blindsided by the addict's ice cold behavior toward us. People who have never been in relationship with an addict do not understand our deep level of pain because it is more than just a break-up. It is a psychological tsunami for us.

The addict has two personalities.

One of those personalities we fell in love with, and made love to, and had children with, and opened our soft selves to with all our heart. We were innocent and loving, our souls vulnerable and trusting.

And just as happens in horror movies, one day the man turned around and he was someone completely transformed. It was the same face and the same body. But he was the second personality: the addict. And the addict is cold to the bone. He is cruel. And abandoning. Devastating to experience. His rejections are calculated to hurt us at such a deep level---a level ordinary break-ups do not evoke because normal men do not have a wish to destroy a woman. We are gutted by a personality we can hardly comprehend.

It sends our minds into chaos and we can hardly function. I have known so many women who cried for so many weeks and months, who lost weight because they did not eat and could not eat, they were so sick with shock. And, sadly, asked themselves over and over, "What did I do wrong?"

My God.

Please take care of yourself. You have eaten the poison apple. You are now trying to detox to survive. The tears, the sorrow, all trying to release the poison.

You will be free again one day. Be kind to yourself until that happens. We believe in you. And he, believe me, is not worthy of you.
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