Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
My husband did this very same thing for several years. He hid from our family. Hid and drank. Every once in a while he would do something nice, participate at a superficial level, and then go right back to the hiding and drinking. And amazingly he would complain he was left out of the family activities and goings-on. Then he'd go back to hiding and drinking.
Now that he is sober - he still hides. Hides and watches movies or plays video games. Hides from life. I have come to the conclusion this guy is a complete and total loner and it probably had nothing to do with alcohol. Funny how we start out thinking the alcohol is the problem, only to remove the alcohol and find there are many, many problems underneath that spew out sideways regardless.
Whats even more amazing when I look at it objectively is how CLASSIC these behaviors are to alcoholics. And all throughout the AA Big Book are passages on alcoholics thinking they are unique.
He was like this on and off for the 15 years of our marriage when he was dry. I don't know if they are related to the alcohol abuse or what. I used to think he had a personality disorder and I have called him a master manipulator over the years. He has to win at all costs and be right all the time. My therapist says he's a narcissist, I guess that's as fitting as anything. I always knew there were LOTS of problems, LOL. When he decided to start drinking 2 years ago, that's what scared me the most. His personality and character issues combined with alcohol??? NOT a great idea. And, he admitted he had started drinking because of his depression and anxiety. Then he tells me the drinking got out of control because of the Paxil, yet he's not getting off the Paxil. Well, if the Paxil contributed to the alcohol abuse, shouldn't you think about getting on a new medication. Nah, why bother right? That would just take effort, he can handle the cravings all by himself. And, so, he has been drinking again. It's only a matter of time until it all comes crashing down.