Telling others about my choice to live sober
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... that consuming alcohol is an act of abuse towards my body, mind, heart, and soul
Courage to change the things I can... I can choose to live a life where I don't drink, to be honest about my choices and feelings.
And the wisdom to know the difference... I can choose to live my life in integrity and self-respect regardless of what others think or do because I only have power over my own actions.
The time is coming near where I will have to admit to my friends that I don't want to drink with them anymore. The reasons are personal but the choice will have to become public to those that know me in order to help protect myself from my own AV.
I hope that they will still want to be around me and enjoy my company booze-free. But that's on them, I don't have any control over how they will react. All I know is that I need to do this for me. I need to stand up for and nurture this sober woman that I am becoming because that is who I want to be deep in my heart.
It's hard to make changes and I am afraid of failure. I haven't gotten very far in my drinking career and that makes it easier to rationalize my drinking. But, I do have the mental obsession whether I have 1 drink or 100 drinks I obsess about it endlessly. I need that mental and emotional energy for other, more important things.
I am nervous about sharing this new lifestyle because it could mean rejection from my peers but not sharing and slipping back into drinking could have much more serious consequences in my life.
Alcoholism killed my mother 2 months ago. Few people outside my family and al-anon know that because there is so much shame and stigma attached. I don't want to end up like her and the only way that I can guarantee that is to remain sober regardless of the social consequences.
I need the support that I have been getting here. Sharing with and learning from all of you makes me stronger in my resolve to choose sobriety as a lifestyle. I need you because my life is jam-packed with enablers and I want more than what addiction can offer me.
When I come here it is easier for me to look past the excuses my AV has for my drinking and focus on what my heart wants. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength, and hope with me.