Thank you everyone...Hydro, I did wake up this morning, although alone, relieved that I didn't do something I would regret last night. As much as last night hurt to have to absorb all that pain, I just allowed myself to feel it. After the beach, just got some takeout and watched a movie. Journaled a little, was on here a little...I miss my family so much, but I cannot force AH to want me or my children. I have to just keep living my life and push through this pain.