I am NOT drinking tonight.
Just putting this out there : I won't be having a drink tonight. I desperately need a win over the av right now. I need it even more than I "need" a drink.
It's so f----d up that one drink on Friday can turn into ... probably 12. And then off I go, drinking on Saturday and would be drinking again right now if I hadn't slammed on the brakes. I'm not overstating things when I say that my problem is way bigger than I realized. I'm not beating myself up, I'm just a little unsettled by the reality of it all.
So that is all -- I really want a drink, but I'm not going to crumble tonight. If I do, I'll feel like a loser. And I can't afford to feel like that.