zoso77

Well, you've read my story (I believe). Moving on is a process. What's great about life these days is I'm living it on my terms. In hindsight, I was dealing with a very sick, promiscuous, deceitful, duplicitous and manipulative human being, And when she left, the clouds lifted.

But, what I wrestle with is how anyone can be that sadistic towards another human being. That's not how I'm wired. That's not how I was brought up to treat people. But, people being people, everyone's different. And one of the lessons I've learned the hard way is to never assume someone has the same values as you do until you see them in action. Because what you believe to be true and what's really the truth can be totally orthogonal to each other.

Those in active addiction are very sick people. My clinician, who is a social worker in a psychiatric unit and specializes in addiction, tells me only 10% of people that show up on the unit for drugs and alcohol get clean and find recovery. That is a pretty disheartening number. Would I date another addict again? No. My boundaries are a lot firmer than they were before, and I won't let myself "go there" again. Doesn't mean I don't want the best for them, or I don't care about them. It just means I'm putting my well-being first, and I can't compromise myself emotionally by dealing with a sick person.

I pray for my AXGF every night. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. But what I've learned, and what helps me the most, is there is a God. And my AXGF doesn't answer to me for her misdeeds. She answers to God, or whatever Higher Power she subscribes to. And whatever is meant to happen to her simply will.

Hope this helps.

ZoSo