Originally Posted by
NewRoad 
I suppose all I want is someone out there to tell me it's ok to leave.
It's OK to leave. You have to protect your boys and yourself from the madness.
I left my husband of 16 years, a year ago. Same story, kind guy but major drinking problem. I still love him. But I decided I could not continue to let myself and our kids slide down the rabbit hole with him.
What really got me was one day I thought "where will my life be in 5 years if I stay?" I knew I had to get me and the kids out of this toxic situation.
Hugs. Hang in there. You are not alone.
You are such a good mom for putting your kids first and taking action!
PS, I can totally relate to your comment about not being used to putting your own needs first. It's sort of exciting to care for ourselves and LIVE again, not just exist.