glad yer here!!
I am about to leave my husband with our two boys
i have to ask because im not that smart: you are taking yer boys with you,right? not leaving them with dad?
He says he can't do it if I go
that is the manipulation i tried and it didnt help with my sons mom staying, or any other woman for the matter.
I think there's something in me that says I'm not good enough to put first.
that sounds like a low self esteem. time to put you 1st and get yerself physically, mentally and emotionallly healthy. i am sure that iffen ya looked at yer past, putting everyone else 1st realy wasnt working too good for ya. you are worth it!
Am so worried for him,
nothing wrong with being worried, but it aint too good for an alcoholic to be carried.
I feel like Im letting him down. I know I can be strong for him and my kids but I'm just so tired that no one is strong for me.
no, yer letting yerself down by putting him fisrt and not taking care of you and since you can be strong for him, its time to switch that focus on to you and use the strength and knowledge of others who have been there to help you get strong.
one thing i HIGHLY suggest is explaining to your kids that dad is a sick man, and rom what it sounds like, it's the disease of alcoholism.