Dad has Dementia, won't Stop Drinking, Kids Need Help
Hello out there,
It's been a while since I've been in the recovery community, but after growing up in Alateen, I'm hoping that this is the right place to turn.
I'll try to make this brief- it's a long story (what story involving an alcoholic parent isn't long...), but my brother and I really need some help.
Our dad is a 65 year old alcoholic with Werneke Korsakoff-based Dementia. A year ago, we brought him back to the states after it became clear that he could no longer live abroad on his own. (He had been gone for 4 years, but his quality of life was suffering, he was attacked, robbed, and it was time to come home.)
We found an independent living facility for him, did all the paperwork, Doctor's visits, etc... and by the first evening he was in trouble with the powers that be. After a few weeks of us going back and forth on his independence level, and a few weeks of stocking up on booze, Dad landed himself in the hospital and got evicted from the community.
There was ONE local senior living community that would take him from the hospital. He's been there since October 2011, but things have come to a breaking point, once again, as dad refuses to stop drinking, refuses to admit he has dementia (much less alcoholism) and the community wants us to hire someone for 24hr care, ON TOP of their high monthly fees.
So, here's my question: Are there communities for alcoholics with dementia? My dad is in great physical shape, charming, extremely independent and doesn't need much physical care. What he does need, however, is a place where he can walk around outside, be a part of a community, and NOT have access to alcohol...
Does this place only exist in my mind?
My brother and I have spent thousands on special care managers, geriatric lawyers, etc.., trying to find the right place... and our experience has been so negative.
Oh, I should also mention that my dad doesn't think he needs ANY help, and is continuously threatening to just pack his bags and leave.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. My brother and I are both in our mid-twenties, with hectic full-time jobs, trying to make our own ends meet. We're at the end of our rope here...
Thank you all.