Hi NewRoad and welcome.
One of the first things I learned when I came here was the 3 c's.
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
Her drinking was hers and hers alone. I can't make her drink and I can't make her stop. Nothing I do can change that, nothing I say can change that. I have no control over her drinking and her behavior.
What I do have control over is how I choose to react and my attitudes. I have the choice to decide whether or not I want to live with unacceptable behavior. I have the choice to start living for myself and to put myself first. I have the choice to decide whether I want to accept the pain she is causing me.
So, I chose to separate from my alcoholic wife of 36 years and move out. I chose to start divorce proceedings after moving out. I chose to have a me first attitude and to take care of myself. I chose to develop an attitude that I am worth having a good life and it is up to me to make it happen.
Your friend,