Hello NewRoad, Welcome to SR!
I'm sorry for everything you have been going through and that your husband continues to drink. It certainly does sound like he needs a lot of help, but you have been trying for 16 years and he's still drinking. That's because no one can get an alcoholic to stop drinking. It's totally an inside job. He has to decide he has had enough--that the pain of the consequences of his drinking is greater than the pain of his actual feelings and emotions without alcohol.
I hope you will come to believe that you and your boys deserve to come first. Please take good care of yourselves!