Leaving it behind
Am new here. I am about to leave my husband with our two boys because he is an alcoholic. What I am struggling with is the feeling of guilt, anxiety and sickness because of what I'm doing. His business is failing as well and now I have decided to leave I feel terrible. He says he will look into getting help, I do not hold out much hope, he has been a drinker or a stoner since we met 16 years ago. The problem is he is a very sweet and kind man normally. I feel that if the drinking stopped we could be together. When he's drunk he is never aggressive, but most of the time he is just embarrassing. He gets REALLY drunk. Where he doesn't know who or where he is. A few months back check came to me and said he would really try to give up. He lasted two days. He needs help I know. I'm just so sick of being the helper. I'm sick of coming home from a 12 hour shift and hes drunk on the couch. I'm sick of our boys seeing their father staggering and slowing down and eating like a pig with food everywhere. I suppose all I want is someone out there to tell me it's ok to leave. I haven't told anyone about his drinking, i am ashamed. I feel like I am not enough. I have had enough of this life. How can I get through without him, I know what he is like sober and I love him when he is. This is the hardest thing I will ever do. I hope its the right thing, I think he has to hit the bottom before he can truly recover. I can't do it for him can I ?