blissful weekend coming to an end
I have had such a relaxing, stress-free weekend. He's been at our other house, and the kids and I just did whatever we felt like doing, which actually wasn't much. Did a little summer clothes shopping, played UNO, played some catch, visited some family. Just NICE. No worrying about if he was going to be in a bad mood, if he would be drinking, if he would want to try to act as if we are a happy little family.
So now it's Monday, and he'll be here sooner or later today. Aren't I supposed to be excited to see my husband after a long weekend apart? Well, I'm not. I know that he will come home and want to act as if all is okay, since he apologized and says he'll do better. Then he'll get upset because no way am I going to just fall into his arms and pretend all is forgotten.
Does my dreading him coming home mean that my subconscious has made a decision for me? That I just want to live separately from him? Yesterday, the only contact we had were a few texts back and forth about the weather, and it was such a relief when my phone didn't ring.
There is also the possibility that he will come home and want answers as to where our marriage is going. I don't have answers to this and am not ready to get into the round and round conversation about it. Do I just say, "I don't have answers" and let it go at that?