He alxndr, Welcome to SR!!
I'm sorry to hear about everything that you and your wife have been through. I'm glad to hear that she is seeking therapy for the trauma of her childhood.
When I went searching for help on the internet one night, it was because of my stepson. A very important thing I learned here and in the meetings of Al-Anon is a concept called the 3C's:
I did not
cause the addiction.
I cannot
control the addict.
I cannot
cure the addict.
The 3C's are very frustrating and very freeing--all at the same time. One of our members tells the story of how she went to Al-Anon thinking "Just give me the tools so I can fix him!"
Sadly, it just does not work that way. No amount of 'pointing it out', discussion, arguing, blaming, or pleading on your part will get her to address her drinking or drug use problems. Your wife may or may not address her drinking or pill use in therapy. That decision, and the desire to do so, is entirely up to her.
I hope that you will make yourself comfortable here and read all the threads you can. The "stickies" at the top of each forum also contain great information about addiction and recovery.
We can be happy again, whether or not the alcoholics in our lives are drinking!
Welcome, again!