Thanks both of you. My husband feels that if mum rings to speak to SD, then if she's around he should ask her if she wants to talk to her, simply because she herself (SD) might actually want to. That was the first time since the letter that mum has called though, so if she does call again he will just say something like 'I don't think she wants to speak to you, so try her phone and if she doesn't answer then that's up to her'. Can't really do anymore than that can he.
We fully support her decision, and it is not one that was reached lightly. There is a lot in the UK press recently about the flaws in our current child law, and its being banded about that all children should have a relationship with both parents, which we agree with except when the absent parent is causing harm. What I'm trying to say is that we are both advocates of this, and I guess feel a little guilty about supporting such a huge decision and supporting a child cutting a parent out of their life.
Alateen is practically non-existent now, and there is no Alateen locally. She has counselling at school & we took her to Al-Anon. It was good, and helpful but she didn't want to go again.