Hi Capt.Morgan, I can relate to your post. Only diference is I married my first wife. We ended up divorced. After that I ran around looking to fall in love. It is only in the past year or so I've learned that it was," being in love, with being in love." I have to say that even my present marriage happened like that. The difference now is I'm looking at it from a different perspective. Because I was sexualy by family members, I falsely learned that as a sign of affection. I was ready to fall in love with anyone I had sex with. This, over the years was my way of making up, showing love etc. This might sound strange but, I figured my brothers and sisters must love me, and they show it in this way, so the lesson was learned. I think this is one of the false lessons MG talks about. I now believe I'm in the process of unlearning it. My wife is looking for more affection from our marrage. The old lesson isn't working. I'm now learning to simply hold her hand while walking, hugging, etc. And the biggie, OH MY GOD, WE HAVE TO TALK MORE, AND ABOUT FEELINGS ALSO. I'm kidding, it's not that bad. I'm learning that when I'm troubled I don'y have to worry alone. I can share with her and I feel better, and she feels more a part of my life. Sometimes, I forget that the things I learn here and at meetings can and should be brought to my outside life. Simple thought, difficult lesson. Don W