Originally Posted by
lizatola 
You're right, it's about failure for me too. And, about letting go of the dream that someday things could be better. Maybe they could be, but right now REALITY BITES.
So, you are giving up a happy NOW, for a possibly happy FUTURE? That's what I did for two decades. The happy future never came and the years of unhappiness just kept piling up.
What I've learned is the future does not exist. Only the present is real and what I do now is what matters. Tomorrow and the next day will come no matter how I spend today. Spending it miserable does not make tomorrow any better. In fact, it usually means tomorrow will be miserable, too.
Life is far too short to waste one single precious minute waiting for someone else to change. He is who he is. The only question for you is, is he who you want to be married to? Not the possible, future, new-and-improved version--but the man you are married to right now, warts and all. Because if you are only interested in being married to who he
could be, you are deluding yourself.
L