Yes spes. it does seem like we are on a parrell path, with you being a bit ahead of me. My wife is still very clear headed when sober. She is an amazing artist. Raising the kids we put all our energy into them. her being a stay at home mom, putting her career on hold. Me working a ton and then come home to help with the kids. now that they are adults we are looking at each other and saying who are you. she wants to pursue here art career and rub shoulders with the fine arts community. I want to ride the harley and throw a stick for the dog. I dont know what "fixing myself" looks like. you are also right I am a fixer by nature. But I do know that I cant fix this....Lord knows I have tried