Old 05-19-2012, 03:17 AM
  # 62 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: South Seas
Posts: 55
In my case I chose to pick up that first drink and I chose to stop at 3-4. It was all a choice! That is why the belief in powerlessness doesn't work for me. If the 'goal' of powerlessness is to teach people to have humility, then choose another belief than powerlessness...choose humility, or less ego or something else. But to say I'm powerless just fed into my already feeling of helplessness. It would just make me feel more stuck. But if people need to feel helpless to get help then whatever works do it.

My drinking has been a strange pattern which has made me wonder if I'm an 'alcoholic'. It was everyday at its 3-4/day. I always stop at 4 max because I just get tired and want to go to sleep. I would never black out, throw up or feel like having one when I woke up in the morning.

I didn't start drinking a bit more regularly until my late 20s. I'm 44 now. It was slow to the point of starting to drink daily after work. And instead of it being progressive, I actually cut BACK about 4 years ago and drink LESS than I did then which was more like 5-6/night and a stronger alcohol 7% vs 5%. Never had blackouts, threw up, lost a job, DUI or any major consequence, but a slow eroding of my self esteem and fully using my gifts/strengths to contribute to the world. I've been playing small.

So what to make of that. Yes, I've used alcohol to self medicate (moods/emotions) but that is different than 'alcoholism' perhaps? Can anyone clarify? Why its important is that I understand there are different approaches to addressing depending if someone is an alcoholic or not. My hunch is that I should address the how to more healthily address moods/emotional life as the core. I know I just want a healthier alternative to drinking to relax, feel better at the end of the day.

Thoughts? Advice?
Chakaido is offline