choublak,
Yeah I know I was also a counselor at a university in a past life too. The women came in to our student well health clinic 10 to 1 over the guys. The reason I asked is that the guys are also victims and most times are classified as wife abusers when the wife pushes it to the max. I read several sites and heeded that advice well. She is actually physical and I just sit on her for ten minutes and she usually will calm down. That is also happening more often lately. She really needs to get her consequences on this as she is going to die from it if I keep enabling her, and will have a better chance alone if ever. I sure can't help her. In her mind I am her excuse. Then she will be a victim from lack of funds and my leaving. Funny but maybe this is the push I need to get engaged in life again. I sure don't need to drink over it. I think I have already been there and done that.
Sobriety is great that way. We can see clearly. And do what needs to be done. Even if it hurts initially, then heals as I will surely. I feel better already. Hope I can lick my addiction to her now as easily as I did alcohol.
I am slow but I get there once the addiction hurts too much. She doesn't, I think she thrives on the pain. I am also shocked at how she thinks by what she projects onto me when she is drinking and supposedly mind reading.
She has no clue that what she accuses me of that I never did, says clearly that that is exactly what she would and does do. My mind does not work that way, thus my ensnarement trying to help when that is the problem for me.