I agree with other posters, I think men wait to find outside help or advice. There were 2 new men at our Al Anon meeting last night and we were all very surprised. One was there because of his daughter, the other was there because of his wife who just got her third DUI. I showed up at Al anon when my AH got his first DUI so maybe that's part of the difference as an example.
Welcome to the boards!