Completely understand how you are feeling my fellow SoCal Codie.
Addicts, toxic people, and those who just have no desire to improve their lives suck the life out of those around them if we let them. Most of us do...it's great that you recognize that you are drained and over it....and that this isn't healthy.
My XAB is sober almost 9 months and is almost as draining as he was when he was drinking. Like he has a hole of self hatred in his soul and no about of love can fill it. Me constantly trying just wears me out and really doesn't impact him.
It's time to put you first before more things fall apart in your life like your health....I went on anti depressants, passed out in a treadmill and went to hospital, had many sinus infections, walking pneumonia twice, extreme fatigue, random weight gain, adult acne, many sleepless nights and the domino effects that has....thankfully nothing I can't reverse or change.