View Single Post
Old 05-16-2012, 01:20 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
bayliss
Member
 
bayliss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Thanks everyone for the replies.

I know that I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. But this feeling that I have - well, like I said, I can't stop crying. I feel like things aren't going to get better for me. Regardless if I drink or not. I really know this isn't the case and it is my addictive voice that is trying to take over.
It's true though. There is no point...if I drink again tonight I will be back here again tomorrow in the same spot.

I was doing so well...I know that I shouldn't have gone to the Stag&Doe where everyone is getting drunk and telling me to have one as well...of course no one poured it down my throat but you know how us alcoholics work.
And then I just kept going with it. I shouldn't have. I know. I regret it. But I have to keep on going and not dwell on it. But moments where it is quiet it is hard.

I am having bad anxiety and waves of sadness. I know I gotta go out and do something as I have been sitting here at home feeling sorry for myself by myself.
I totally should not have agreed to go out Saturday night.
It was way too early in my sobriety. I started off with a glass of water but that turned into wine.
I am sure I acted like a total tool as well...

I won't drink tonight.
bayliss is offline