Originally Posted by
Stayinfree 
Hi everyone
I'm back for some support as right now I keep having major beast attacks and I can feel my mood getting lower by the day..............this is what would usually lead me to picking up again and I'm feeling damn angry right now.
I've been stopped for some weeks, haven't counted how many, but just today I caught my beast telling me to work out how long I've gone without, just so it can build up an argument for........'see you've been soo good'.
I even sat at the table this evening and told my husband how much I missed drinking, he, of course, said if I started again, I'd to find somewhere else to live.
I realise that it's getting control of my 'I' and I'm trying to claim it back, but I'm struggling.
Stayinfree, I'm not sure about how to search this site, but it looks like this is your first post since I joined SR in January. I learned AVRT back when it was being developed and am here for altruistic reasons. I like to see people use AVRT to quit for good, and I like to see it understood uncorrupted by other ideas, even while it is being presented alongside other ideas about not drinking.
I hope you have a copy of RR:TNC by now. The exercise on p. 178 is a good one.
You say you've been drinking since your last post. You are now here and hopefully are not worse from the wear of the drinking. So, it has worked out for you so far.
Do you believe that it is wrong for you to ever drink again; so that you might die of old age having never again experienced the effects of alcohol?
Do you believe the choice your husband is giving you is reasonable?
Would you be willing to describe what you think and how it feels when you contemplate making a Big Plan?