Originally Posted by
chronsweet 
WTBH, I guess sometimes I wish my ABF would just acknowledge my pain by saying he understands. SIGH. I realize he doesn't or he'd change. My ABF tells me I am crazy for even thinking he is an A. They are all just freaking nuts. LOL
I get what you're saying completely!!! My AH has his colleagues, family & some mutual friends convinced I'm disturbed and as he puts it "in need of inpatient psychiatric help" bc I said no more and am entirely done w him. I'm no more crazy than you are. Your bf is an A & my AH is an A & purely evil. Obviously if they were to admit that they had a problem that would mean giving up their addictions & they'd rather do anything than that.
Speaking as someone whose AH DID utter the words "I understand" I can tell you that it was cold comfort bc he never actually understood and it was always uttered in a patronizing snide way and I wound up feeling more hurt than comforted bc he was really just mocking me by saying it. Now if it had been sincere that would have been different but again, if it had ever been sincere that would've been bc he was capable of empathy & perhaps working a program of recovery. I kept looking for bread in the hardware store as the expression goes; I wanted someone incapable of caring about others feelings to care about mine and then wound up hurt when he didn't. Hes always been honest about who he is- I just refused to believe it for a long time.