hi, im a reoverying addict with a few yrs sobriety. the best thing my family could have ever done to help me was to cut me off and allow me to suffer the consequences of my actions, then and only then was i able to see for myself how out of control my life had become. then and only then did i beome desperate to seek help and commit to my own recovery, as long as i had them to supply my basic needs, i was free to provide my drugs.
on the other hand, my addicted hubby's family could or would not let go, he passed away. they literally loved him to death.
you have nothin to feel guilty about, imo. let go and trust god, he knows what it takes to get him where he needs to be. it just maybe what it will take to save your sons life. try to keep the focus on you and allow him to do the same.
i will keep you and your son in my prayers,