thank you all.
i had a talk with my dh today and he said he had been drinking cider which he didn't know created the moods so thats off limits to. i told him how he makes me feel when he is nasty to me. i think i found the answer to why he overreacted about the nail varnish though so i feel better there. he had a nasty cousin who treated him horriable and he remebers her dressing him up and forcing him to wear nail varnish. i know it doesn't excuss it but it helps me to understand.
i had a long think today and i know hes not perfect but hes alot better than what he was in first year or so we was together and over time hes learnt what he can and can't drink. i know there will be other days he does this but i'm not willing to give up on him just yet but i will take our children away from him when he is drunk.