Old 05-13-2012, 06:12 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
feelingalone43
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: near by
Posts: 151
My AH has gone from drinking bourbon and beer daily to drinking low-alcohol beer only. He has even cut back on that. The decision to do this was his. I never gave him "the ultimatum". I did let him know that I had a problem with his binges, and he let me know that he would be the one to make a decision on his drinking. I decided to work on ME. I set a couple of boundaries, and stuck by them while making healthy decisions for myself, and finding things to do that bring joy to my days.

Now bear with me, these changes have only been going on for a few months, and I have not fooled myself into believing there will never be another binge. But I no longer walk around on eggshells waiting for it to happen. He knows that if he gets drunk, I will not interact with him.

We have been married nearly 19 years, and I enabled him for all of those. Now I refuse to buy his beer for him, and I finally got up the courage to tell him that he is rude, obnoxious, loud, stinky, and no good in bed when he's drunk. It feels so good to understand the three C's. So I've told him, "get drunk if you choose, but leave me out of it."

Take care of yourself and let others do the same.
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