After the chaos and craziness of actually separating, the affair, etc I struggled with what you write about.
The drama was not there to distract me and it was when the feelings really starting coming up (and for me with only a moderate ability to deal with them). It was really, really hard time for me.
No advice on how to make it better and I was without the other complications going on in your life but for me the feelings came when the adrenaline surge was starting to cut back a little....neither was easy.
Just be gentle with yourself and if possible expect as little from yourself as you can (I watched a lot of stupid TV during this time....and I don't own any TV channels).