Thread: Forgiveness
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:33 AM
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zoso77
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
 
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Forgiveness

Four months ago today, my AXGF emotionally assaulted me at work. And one of the things I've been struggling with is the idea of forgiveness. I use the word "struggle" because as I process where I'm at, there's a part of me that wonders if I'm living by a double standard.

There have been times in my life when, after I've been hurt badly, I've let my anger get the better of me and I hurt the person who hurt me. And then, after I calm down and realize what I've done, I apologize and ask for forgiveness.

In the case of my AXGF, not only did she hurt me badly, she took pleasure it in. I did nothing to deserve it. She, in her typical Borderline Personality/Drug Addict mindset, decided to rip me up and down. If it were just an issue of being hurt, I could forgive her. But she intentionally, maliciously, and sadistically went after me and did her best to hurt me, and took enormous pleasure in it. I don't think I can forgive that...

...and that bothers me. It bothers me because I have, too, intentionally tried to hurt people, but in response to being badly hurt myself. If I ask for forgiveness myself when I've done wrong, is it then wrong to deny forgiveness to a person who's wronged me?
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