It was the Friday before. I was clean 5 days then slipped. Its now been 12 days in a row. 5 days before that minus that Friday. Its not just tylenol pm its tylenol. I'm purposely trying to kill myself without trying to kill myself. I'm depressed. Depression was something I battled before drugs and now I'm off drugs but depression worse than ever. I go to meetings Tue wed and Thur at local mental health clinic. They are early recovery groups. I have a counselor that knows I'm suicidal and is watching me. I am trying. Without drugs though my depression is out of control. I am honest and real but depression is kicking my ass. I haven't touched the meth. I want sobriety but my mind wants to die.