Butterfly112

Hi There

I am new to this site, and want to introduce myself. I am a 32 year old mother of one. I have a wonderful man in my life and a beautiful home. I am very active physically and to the general public I look like I have it all together, and some people actually look up to me because of my enthusiasm for physical activity and my social front. But inside I feel like I am just waiting to go home to use. I am basically just sober for work and then after work, I am another person. I am addicted to booze and pot. I binge drink on the weekends and don’t usually drink during the week, but I smoke a lot of pot to manage. I am not sure which one I am most addicted to. I have been using both since 12 years old, and it was really fun up until a few years ago. I am at a point where I feel like a prisoner of my addiction and I dread the weekends to come because I know this weekend I will not be able to be sober like I plan to EVERY WEEK. Everyone I talk to says I don’t have a problem because I don’t black out and stuff, but I do. I guess you can say I am a functioning addict. I have the same problem as my father, he glorified these things when I was a child, I thought he was my hero, and now I am addicted to the same stuff as him. He is now 56 without a pot to **** in, and his brain is not working right……I am here because I don’t want to turn out like him.