your story is almost identical to mine - other than the ages of the children, i could pretty much have written it myself.
I understand totally where you are coming from - the fact that they are not violent, abusive (as such) etc makes me think i am over reacting - especially when there are so many people who have experienced such horror. However, the pain you feel is real - it cannot be judged by others, and when it hurts, it hurts.
Thank you for posting - i personally feel not so alone in my story now that i have read yours.
Sending big hugs and love :ghug3