Decisions ....
Hello all,
Well, we've had a rough week with my stepdaughter. Yet again, her mum let her down, badly this time. My SD arranged to visit her mum at her home last Sunday, mum told her to go round at 11am, which she did but her mum wasn't in, or at least she wasn't answering the door or her phone. It was a foul day, pouring with rain, and the poor kid stood for half an hour banging on mum's door to no avail. Don't know if you're all aware, but mum lives half an hour away, and SD was, on the Saturday night, staying with an old school friend in mum's town, hence arranging to see her mum on the Sunday. She called us, in a distraught state, asking if we'd go and collect her, so we did. Have to say the anger I felt all day was overwhelming. I was soooo pi$$ed off with her!
So, all week SD has been saying she's had enough and doesn't want to see her mum anymore. We told her to think about it, but she seems to have made up her mind, but hadn't actually told her mum because she's scared to. We said writing a letter would be the best way, because if she sent a text (her preferred option) mum would say we'd sent it, so she drafted a letter on Friday, and boy was it harsh, but deserved. Anyway, she said she wanted to write it out neater and post it on Monday.
Today we also learned from SD's little brother's dad that the hair strand tests came back that the Court ordered for his residence case. She tested positive (of course), and it showed she's drinking in excess of 56 units per week. SD was angry about this too, as even though she knows her mum's an alcoholic, mum has been denying to her that she even drinks anything alcoholic at all.
This evening mum phoned to speak to SD. SD wouldn't answer her phone to her, so mum phoned my husband's phone. SD told my husband to tell her she doesn't want to speak to her or see her for a while, so he did. She took it okay to be honest, well she didn't rant and rave anyway. He explained that their daughter was angry with her, particularly about the let down at the weekend, and that we'd all learned how much she's drinking by the hair strand test results. All she said was 'can you tell her I'm having counselling because I'm suffering the effects of being assaulted by X (her ex boyfriend)', and that was it. Oh, she did say should she ring tomorrow, but my husband told her not to, and to give their daughter some space. He told her she would receive a letter.
Then, half an hour later she text SD and said she would ring her tomorrow!!!!!!! Hubby has text her back asking her if she understand's what he meant by 'she doesn't want to speak to you or see you at the moment' and asked her, again, to give their daughter space.
SD is feeling pretty rotten at the moment, says she feels guilty now her mum knows how she feels, but I think she'll get over it. Have to say that we were on the verge of stepping in and stopping contact for a while anyway, simply because it's not constructive and just upsets the kid. The woman gets to her, and she's sick of acting like everything's okay. I hope she sticks to her guns and doesn't allow her mother to manipulate her into feeling sorry for her.