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Old 05-05-2012, 10:36 AM
  # 95 (permalink)  
NewbieJ
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 110
Originally Posted by brokenwife2012 View Post
He also tried to put the blame on me and asked why, if I loved him with my whole heart, didn't I push him more to talk about what was going on in his head. Why didn't I move heaven and earth to find out what was wrong with him. How the heck am I suppose to know that something was wrong with his feelings about our marriage. Every time I asked him if there was something he needed to talk to me about, he always said it was either work related or just the fact that he was so miserable living without us while he worked so far away. So, why would I even think he was having issues with his feelings? I'll tell you why, because this wasn't the problem. He made it the problem.
See, it will always be your fault. They will not accept blame for anything - your reactions (because remember - alcoholics act and we REACT) have to be "perfect", and their opinion of what is perfect keeps changing day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. And because we've somehow let them manipulate and emotionally blackmail us into "understanding" how we have been at fault, no matter the issue, it makes it even more difficult for us to step back, detach from their problem, and heal.

Hang in there, friend...I am going through something somewhat similar.
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