You are correct, I am not uncomfortable in making life or death decisions in my work. It is what I do, it is my job and I am well trained.
BUT..... I do not actively kill anyone or anything knowingly, except insects.
My Beast has always been around - my best party bud - I guess even better than my husband used to be. Beast kept me company high or low, happy or sad. I need to be really, really sure before I kill him - and is it not interesting that my Beast is male? Why is it not female? Is the Beast always male?
I feel like I am in a transition time where I am getting used to seeing Beast as enemy and not friend. Ultimately, I think I need to get to the point where I just don't give a sh*t about him - then his death will be very anti-climactic.
Pam