You will never make him see that he is ruining everything...if he had any understanding, whatsoever, he would have already hopped on the recovery train, get sober,and, work a strong program...for life.
Your first priorty should be to your children, they are the true victims, he is an adult it is up to him to get sober and work a strong recovery program.
He told you the truth...you are just beating a dead horse...he won't quit until he is ready and for many that is never.
Read the stickies at the top of this forum and the Family & Friends Of Substance Abusers..an addict an addict...it doesn't matter what the drug of choice is...they all have the same mindset and priorty...their drug of choice.