my ex bf had a heroin problem, smoked it. His mom found out, and sat by him for days until he went cold turkey and detoxed. that was months before i met him, and then 6 months into the relationship i found him snorting roxies in teh bathroom. he told me that it was for pain, but when he would stop he d be in more pain than he would be without them totally. he was dependant. he did go into out patient methadone treatment, and his personality changed like day and night within a few months. We dated for 2 years, and i left him 3 months ago. i just didnt see him anymore as a husband/father type, and since he had only been out of his 8 month outpaitent for a few months, he didnt want anything to do with marriage or kids like ive been wanting for years- so i left.
I guess my advice for you is to really sit down and think about exactly what you really KNOW YOU WANT in life. Then add him to the equation- Can or will he give you these thigns? If not, then thats an answer. it looks like you want to stand by him, which is SO hard but doable.
my bf was supposedly clean for months and months when i left him, i still constantly worry about him. i guess thats the part of loving somebody but you dont have to deal with this in your life if you dont want to.
Also i learned that addicts need to get help for themselves, otherwise it may not work.