Thanks everyone...
Florence- you know, one of the things that makes me worry (and I am sure AH knows it) is that I am not perfect and HAVE acted badly at times and he probably can and will spin my "flaws" to paint me as a bad mom and human if it means that he looks better.
Living with active alcoholism and not dealing sooner with my part in it and my codependency made me lose it more than a few times. He has NO recollection of his horrid behavior but has a crystal clear (with exagerrations included of course) memory of anything wrong I have done. And he doesn't hesitate to remind me of all of that when he feels the heat is on him.
So, I wish that he had nothing "on me" because then I could brush off the worry that he could harm me with his tales/words. He has a remarkable ability to take a few facts and then embelish and create something altogether different and its the fact that there are some facts that he could exagerrate that scares me.
For ex/ I have the recent arrest and am under scrutiny for the next 6 months for it. If he decides to counter complain to child protective services (even if it's a lie) that WILL be on the radar of the court and could impact my tenuous ability to have it all dismissed.
I realize I need to let go and just see how it plays out. I am just realizing that there could be repurcussions for me in all of this that I didnt think about. I am still glad I called for the girls sake but am terrified about how this might play out for me...